Happy Holidays, Ya Filthy Animals

Do you want to be scared this holiday season?

I know this is a book blog, but on the real real, I don’t really enjoy holiday themed books. (Please don’t hate me!)

Although holiday books are not my thing, I do sort of, sometimes, maybe a little, enjoy the holiday spirit. What’s not to like? We have good friends, a wild family, home cooked food, someone always gets dumb shit faced, and there’s nothing like making someone smile with a funny or thoughtful gift.

But you know what I love about Christmas most of all?

The horror movies.

For those of you who know me personally, horror movies are sort of my reason for living. I have a horror comedy podcast with my two best ghouls called Queens of NC-17. We talk the best, worst, and rarest of horror films in the history of the world and have lots of inappropriate laughs along the way.

After the holidays are over I will get back to our regularly scheduled programming of book reviews,  but for now, here’s a little gift from me to you…

I am here to help you find the best holiday horror movies that are streaming right now, so you can really get into the holiday spirit!

Amazon Prime

New Years Evil (1980)

It’s New Years Eve! Our super cool punk rock icon, Dianne Sullivan, is hosting a late hour music countdown to kick off the new year. Everything is cool until Dianne receives a call from a strange person announcing live on television that when New Years strikes in each time zone, a girl will be killed. Oh, and Dianne, sweetheart… You’re going to be last.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

On Christmas Eve in Finland, Santa is unearthed in a science ground digging type situation. Soon after, kids are going missing… This year, everyone will believe in Santa Clause.

Jack Frost (1997)

Come on this one’s a classic! Jack Frost, a serial killer, is genetically mutated in a car wreck while on his way to be executed. (lol) He returns as a killer snow man to exact revenge on the sheriff who sent him to the death chamber.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 (1987)

No, you don’t really need to see the first one. You SHOULD, because it’s great, but you don’t have to. The sequel truly stands on it’s own, and whether it means to be or not, it is one of the funniest Christmas comedies out there.

Shudder

Black Christmas (1974)

I’m talking the original, baby, none of that 2019 remake trash!

A group of sorority girls are on Christmas break when creepy anonymous calls start flooding their landline and everyone starts to feel on edge. Wait, where’s Claire? GIRL SHE’S MISSING! But soon you’ll all find out exactly what happened to her.

Christmas Evil (1980)

A mentally ill toy maker, who was scarred as a child upon discovering Santa Clause isn’t real, suffers a mental breakdown after being belittled at work. “Should I go home and cool down?” he thinks to himself. “Nah, I’m going to go on a yuletide killing spree, that sounds cool.”

Deadly Games (1990) (aka, Game Over)

Thomas is a very intelligent child. Left alone on Christmas Eve with his fragile grandfather who he loves very much, a psycho killer Santa Clause was the last thing he expected to be under the tree! Thomas fights to save himself and his grandfather from certain death.

Netflix

Holidays (2016)

For those of you love all holidays equally, we have a horror anthology that features short terrors for every event that you hold dear to your heart. Super gory, this one, so be forewarned. (I personally loved the Easter story.)

Hulu

I Trapped the Devil (2019)

Steve is descending into paranoia. In his basement he’s captured what he believes to be the devil himself, which so happens to be in the form of a human man. When his brother and sister in law show up unannounced, things have nowhere to go but down.

Pooka! (2018)

Are you ready for some silly shit?

A struggling actor takes a seasonal job as a mascot for the year’s hottest toy: Pooka. But once he puts the costume on, he develops two personalities… one for himself, and one for Pooka. As you can guess, Pooka’s a raging asshole.

 

6 responses to “Happy Holidays, Ya Filthy Animals”

  1. Horror books are great. Horror movies have a different effect on me. Let me explain.
    I spent a good part of my professional life in the military and later in the intelligence community, where they put a premium on the concept of “situational awareness.”
    While I can disassociate easily from a book, the combination of imagery and sound makes it all too real. Sensing danger, my reactions often scare the hell of the people next to me. I’ve gotten better since I retired, but there are some things you can’t get out of your system so easily.
    Once, walking on a German sidewalk I took a dive when some little kids lit a string of firecrackers. Embarrassing doesn’t begin to describe it. 🥴. Movie house or living room reactions can be even funnier. So, horror movies are out.
    I’m glad you can enjoy them!

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