For those of you who are lucky enough to have a partner to share this Valentine’s Day with, it’s possible that you two might want to relax at home after your romantic dinner. Maybe you want to watch a movie. Maybe you’re into the whole, “getting scared means getting closer,” thing. #cheers
Or, maybe you’re alone today. Perhaps you’d like to cuddle up with your dog, or cat, or a good horror movie. Maybe you’re in the mood to watch a bunch of dumb teens do stupid sh*t to get laid, but they end up getting picked off like cattle instead. Maybe that’ll make you feel better today. #judgementfreezone
Whatever your situation is, I am here for you, fam.
Most of you know me by now. If you don’t, just know that I have a comedy horror podcast with my two best friends. My #1 passion in life, (yes, books are second,) is horror films. So buckle up, cause momma’s gonna do you right.
While some of these are specific Valentine’s Day movies, some of these just have love based plot lines. You know, a romantic get-away gone hellishly wrong, stalkers, slashers, all the good stuff. ❤
And also note, a few of them aren’t exactly horror, as I know some of you might just want to dip a toe in the
blood water rather than cannonball right in. 🙂
Oh, love can be a strange thing, can’t it?
Plot: Maniac is about a man with a troubled childhood who wants that forever love so desperately that he hates the women he can’t have. He serial kills his way around New York City, collecting beautiful women’s scalps and putting them on his mannequin collection at home… That is, until he meets Anna… She’s extra special.
My Bloody Valentine (1981)
We all know this one, right? Well just in case you don’t, I’ll explain.
Plot: Valentine’s Day is coming up and the young people of a small mining town are organizing a party! But, it’s a little controversial since V-Day hasn’t been celebrated here since that horrible accident 20 years ago. The sole survivor of the accident told the town to NEVER arrange a V-Day party again.
So, as you can imagine, once the party starts… so does the killing.
*insert metal guitar riff here*
Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)
Plot: Tammy and Michael fall in love. Everything is going great, until Michael gets murdered and an evil scientist implants Michael’s brain into a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Michael, now a f*cking full blown dinosaur, escapes the lab, seeks vengeance on the teens who killed him, and is reunited with his sweetheart Tammy.
Haha, alright, this one is a little weird and silly. Let me explain why it’s on the list. This movie stars a super young Denise Richards and Paul Walker! Not to mention the special effects, practical I might add, none of that CG trash, are off the chain!
This movie is hilarious, silly, sexy, and Paul Walker gets turned into a goddamn T-Rex. What more can I say!? Go watch it!
This is one of Dario Argento’s finest films! This has one of the best human to demon transitions I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. If you love practical effects and Italian horror, this one is for you! (Note: It is dubbed in English, no subtitles.)
Plot: A group of random people, including a ton of couples and first dates, are invited to a special screening of a mysterious movie, only to find themselves trapped in the theater with ravenous demons! And the possession is contagious!
AHH! I love this movie so much, you guys!
It’s going to seem far fetched for the Valentine’s Day category, but I promise it’s not, I just don’t want to ruin everything for you. I recommend this movie to everyone because it is truly unique, fun, creepy as hell, and amazing. The acting is also phenomenal. To make it even more impressive, this movie was made by only two people: The two actors in the film!
Plot: A videographer answers an online ad for a one day job in a remote town to record the last messages of a dying man for his loved ones. But the job takes a strange turn when the messages start getting darker and darker, just like the client’s behavior…
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2006)
Plot: As the title so obviously suggests, all the boys love Mandy Lane. Mandy is a super innocent, effortlessly beautiful, and desirable girl who every boy has set their sights on. When Mandy is invited to a weekend party at a secluded ranch, people start dropping like flies…
Holy Hell (2016)
Alright. This one isn’t a horror movie, but I still felt it’s worthy of this list.
Plot: Holy Hell is a documentary that gives you an inside look into Buddhafield, a West Hollywood cult formed by a man who wanted everyone’s devoted love. In return, he will share the secrets of the world. But, as we all know, cults + control + all the power + a bunch of people who are brainwashed = bad f*ckin’ news.
Demon Wind (1989)
While this movie may barely have love in the story line, it is very silly, funny, tons of great effects, and some say it’s one of the worst horror movies of all time. I, personally, loved this movie! Just don’t take it too seriously.
Plot: Cory and his friends, including some couples to keep this movie on theme, visit a broken down old shack in the middle of nowhere to investigate Cory’s family’s mysterious past. After finding some proof in the shack that Cory’s grandparents dabbled in black magic, suddenly they’re unable to leave, and creatures start to attach Cory’s friends one by one!
Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Hello, my name is Ande, and I am addicted to Joss Whedon.
Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, who both wrote for Buffy the Vampire Slayer, locked themselves in a cabin with nothing but snacks and booze, and promised to not leave until they wrote this film. What was created that weekend ended up being a damn masterpiece.
Plot: Five friends go for a romantic break in a remote cabin, where they get way more than they bargained for, discovering the truth behind the cabin in the woods, as well as the balance of the entire world.
Ari Aster is brilliant. His films are entirely unique and his writing style is up there with Quentin Tarantino, in my opinion.
After Hereditary, I didn’t know what he was going to do to follow up to a film so utterly mind-blowing. Ari Aster presented the detailed, complex, and dark story that is Midsommar.
Plot: A story of love and loss. Dani and Christian are on the verge of breaking up when Dani’s family is murdered. Staying together only for comfort’s sake, the couple travels to Sweden with Christian’s friends to visit a rural hometown’s fabled mid-summer festival. What begins as a beautiful and unique retreat ends up quickly devolving into an increasingly violent and bizarre experience at the hands of a pagan cult.
This movie is amazing. I know I talked a lot of crap on CG effects a few times in this list, but this movie makes me take it back. Visually, this film beautiful and haunting, alluring but horrifying. The story and images are something that I will not soon forget.
Plot: After Lena’s husband Kane mysteriously disappears while on a military mission, he suddenly returns years later- but something is wrong. Attempting to get Kane help, this leads Lena, the successful academic biology professor, to the military organization who has the answers. Except for they don’t.
Following in Kane’s footsteps, Lina is sent to explore the ever-expanding iridescent membrane that swallowed an area of Florida with an all woman group. What kind of terrifying biological transmutations are lurking behind the bright and colorful kaleidoscope of horrors?
Well, folks! I hope there is something in this list that can help make your Valentine’s Day extra special!
Please let me know your thoughts on the picks above! And if there are any free streaming V-Day horror movies that I missed, feel free to comment below!